no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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