Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
