apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
