chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
