I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
