my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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