but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize