He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
