Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
