Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize