I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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