yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
