Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
