No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
