I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Help. Why am I so naked?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
