help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
