O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
