So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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