Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he just fucked me for my cheese..
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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