We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
