we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It's just like the Real World with babies
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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