adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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