I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
