She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
