i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
