I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
