I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize