i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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