just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
