Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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