party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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