It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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