Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
