See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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