They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
