We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
