I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
