i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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