She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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