also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
