Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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