I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
