I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
