i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
