6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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