Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
