Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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