HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
