Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
