The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
