Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
