I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize