Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
