hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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