so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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