OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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