DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
