Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
