There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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