I just made out with a guy for $7.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
