I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
