All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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