Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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