You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
