I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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