its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
