I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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