You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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