Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My life is pants optional.
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