My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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