Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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