To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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