i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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