My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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