Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
