Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
