none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
