So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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