I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
