Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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