chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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