GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
